Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
