he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
