thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize