And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
