Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize