It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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