i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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