just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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