So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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