Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
