So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
