a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
