she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
