Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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