...so i touched it.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
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Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
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I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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