i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
