Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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