Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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