you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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