i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
