Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
my shit smells like andre
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize