Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
