I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize