if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
