I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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