real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
