All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
