I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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