I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
