he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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