I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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