I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
