she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
