So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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