So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Randomize
