Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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