It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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