Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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