last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
