god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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