Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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