20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
its liver damage thursday
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize