she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
