We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
