he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
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he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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