there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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