she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
