I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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