I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
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