Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?

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(207): I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway? http://tfl.nu/bdir

Replies (13) Good night (2485) Bad night (904)
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(606): View more from Kentucky

the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night

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(606): the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night http://tfl.nu/1i7p

Replies (4) Good night (2079) Bad night (727)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.

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(401): Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick. http://tfl.nu/vuwe

Replies (17) Good night (1368) Bad night (4279)
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(316): View more from Kansas

toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.

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(316): toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials. http://tfl.nu/kc0s

Replies (18) Good night (1188) Bad night (4963)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?

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(843): I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome? http://tfl.nu/1lt0

Replies (23) Good night (1497) Bad night (7018)
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(954): View more from Florida

I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.

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(954): I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart. http://tfl.nu/2rds

Replies (22) Good night (4382) Bad night (1475)
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(216): View more from Ohio

ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.

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(216): ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time. http://tfl.nu/5061

Replies (6) Good night (1151) Bad night (4230)
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(330): View more from Ohio

Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.

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(330): Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in. http://tfl.nu/l5u1

Replies (8) Good night (3709) Bad night (889)
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(574): View more from Indiana

Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.

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(574): Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance. http://tfl.nu/jrt8

Replies (6) Good night (572) Bad night (2237)
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(720): View more from Colorado

There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.

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(720): There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there. http://tfl.nu/9sg3

Replies (6) Good night (438) Bad night (1141)
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(705): View more from Ontario

My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.

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(705): My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class. http://tfl.nu/olmr

Replies (16) Good night (2096) Bad night (444)
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(410): View more from Maryland

I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.

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(410): I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now. http://tfl.nu/a4rz

Replies (7) Good night (1266) Bad night (362)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.

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(202): BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work. http://tfl.nu/abpr

Replies (27) Good night (579) Bad night (2347)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness

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(215): they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness http://tfl.nu/sk3k

Replies (3) Good night (1745) Bad night (554)
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(330): View more from Ohio

Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.

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(330): Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them. http://tfl.nu/yzp3

Replies (0) Good night (692) Bad night (210)

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