Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
19 Movie Extras Reveal What Itâ€™s Like To Work With Celebrities
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.