Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here

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  (586): Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here http://tfl.nu/xld2
  Replies (0) Good night (1646) Bad night (1434)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...

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  (704): Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom... http://tfl.nu/jmqs
  Replies (8) Good night (719) Bad night (1356)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together

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  (651): Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together http://tfl.nu/hjtb
  Replies (16) Good night (733) Bad night (3597)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??

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  (503): You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!?? http://tfl.nu/qs7s
  Replies (5) Good night (3938) Bad night (636)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends

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  (253): girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends http://tfl.nu/xej0
  Replies (99) Good night (2834) Bad night (5776)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.

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  (425): It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down. http://tfl.nu/xg1z
  Replies (7) Good night (5754) Bad night (1859)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.

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  (306): They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties. http://tfl.nu/2id3
  Replies (24) Good night (10102) Bad night (975)
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  (854): View more from

  i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews

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  (854): i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews http://tfl.nu/lvjo
  Replies (8) Good night (1795) Bad night (846)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.

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  (240): Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic. http://tfl.nu/gchg
  Replies (5) Good night (4345) Bad night (1557)
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.

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  (787): I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers. http://tfl.nu/zztx
  Replies (1) Good night (614) Bad night (874)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."

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  (814): He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van." http://tfl.nu/71uy
  Replies (5) Good night (1363) Bad night (488)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight

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  (902): Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight http://tfl.nu/n0ex
  Replies (8) Good night (1209) Bad night (439)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.

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  (443): There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity. http://tfl.nu/z2pz
  Replies (12) Good night (350) Bad night (1595)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.

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  (972): Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life. http://tfl.nu/3lzm
  Replies (2) Good night (210) Bad night (467)
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.

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  (289): Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon. http://tfl.nu/zzea
  Replies (1) Good night (634) Bad night (232)

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