I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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