not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
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