shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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