He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
