What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
ttyl tear gas
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
