capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
