Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
