On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
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I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
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Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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